Women who pull?

[Dutch & Di]

When we started out RV'ing 19 years ago we each had a "must do". Dutch's was that we golf 3 times a week {no problem there} & mine was that I drive every 2 hours {he had no problem with that}. So here we are all these years later still pulling our 38 footer and we both still enjoy driving and spelling each other. As Dutch has said many times, when you're driving you can look but can't really see what you are traveling thru. Another bonus is that when has had to have surgery "wherever" we weren't stuck there until he could drive again. I just head us to our next destination. The biggest bonus is that we are never tired when we settle in for the night be it a short or long day because one of us hasn't spent the entire day behind the wheel. Once we set up, we never have to decline a spontaneous invitation because we are ready to go.
I have heard that some women don't drive, not because they don't want to but because of the hubby's reaction while they are behind the wheel. To that I say "get over it. We've had to bite our tongue when you were driving at times too". Hugs. Di

[TomHaycraft]

Would love for my DW to pick up some of the driving when we camp. Doesn't look like it will happen any time soon. When driving about town without the trailer (my truck or her CX-9), she's a great driver and I'm comfortable enough to say, maybe better than me. She'd do a great drive pulling the trailer, but I can't convince her of that. So, we plan driving days to be consistent with the miles / hours I can pull in a day.

[lspajm]

What is your dw?


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[chuckster57]

Originally Posted by lspajm

What is your dw?


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DW is either dear wife or Darling wife.

[Dutch & Di]

Just curious.
Have you ever had a "sit down" chat with her about driving? Some women are hesitant because they feel their DH's will "be on them" all the time if they drive & it is hard to want to do something feeling like that.
Have you explained how she could start out on dual highways so she won't have to worry about passing someone? Mention that she can start out with a half an hour drive in the beginning and that she would not have to pull into a campground or back in, in the beginning or never.
Tell he she can drive 55 mph if she likes {we only drive 56 because we're never in a hurry}. Trying to get into something new AND driving 65 can be a bit intimidating.
Remind her that with her sharing the driving; you will be more refreshed and more likely to want to do something when you arrive at a campground. A good reminder too is that you are both out there to see/enjoy the scenery you are driving through and with you doing all the driving, you can glance but not really see our beautiful country.
Another good point is that if you have surgery or are sick, you are not stuck where you are until you recover; she can take over until you can drive again.
Does she drive at home? Does she like to? It's just a bigger vehicle. I have also met women who did not drive until they went to an RV driving school and now just love it.
We did not have to have this "chat" because we both love to drive and spell each other.
These are just suggestions and I hope they may be of benefit to you. Hugs, Di

Originally Posted by TomHaycraft

Would love for my DW to pick up some of the driving when we camp. Doesn't look like it will happen any time soon. When driving about town without the trailer (my truck or her CX-9), she's a great driver and I'm comfortable enough to say, maybe better than me. She'd do a great drive pulling the trailer, but I can't convince her of that. So, we plan driving days to be consistent with the miles / hours I can pull in a day.

[bexparza]

My wife and I do quite a bit of traveling with out Laredo 314RE travel trailer and Silverado 3500 Dually tow vehicle. I have progressive Dementia so my wife does all the driving. She is always telling me that she worried about hitting something. The last trip we were on she mentioned she needed some groceries, so she whipped into a Walmart and just went whipping up and down the parking lot. I was speechless and wondering what happened to all that worry. In June we leave for Colorado, from Arizona, and then on to Oregon from Colorado. I'm sure she'll do a great job as always.

[mamawildbear]

Originally Posted by Dutch & Di

I have heard that some women don't drive, not because they don't want to but because of the hubby's reaction while they are behind the wheel. To that I say "get over it. We've had to bite our tongue when you were driving at times too". Hugs. Di

HA! So I had one practice drive home from a nearby trip then for our big Spring Break trip we were a couple hours in and it was my turn to drive. (This is after 5 years of pulling our popup many times.) I get behind the wheel and my husband gets a crazy look in his eyes, whips around and starts shouting at the kids, "Get your seatbelts on right away! Oh they're on? Well there not tight enough. Now get those tight! And make sure they are on your shoulders! And don't slouch!" Translation > "Hold on kids, your mother is about to kill you with her lousy driving!"

Excuse me???? And what kind of driving was he suddenly expecting from me? He did not give that rabid speech when he started out on the trip. Exactly Di! He should GET OVER IT! At least I can change the radio station without driving off the road. He can't stop his hands from following each other so if he reaches for the radio with his right hand, his left hand goes with it and the car heads for the shoulder of the road.

He is a great driver and personally, I would rather read my books or sleep but hello? Confidence in your wife much?

[Festus2]

Originally Posted by mamawildbear

He should GET OVER IT! At least I can change the radio station without driving off the road. He can't stop his hands from following each other so if he reaches for the radio with his right hand, his left hand goes with it and the car heads for the shoulder of the road.

He is a great driver and personally, I would rather read my books or sleep but hello? Confidence in your wife much?

Maybe we should all "get over it" and let the person, the husband or the wife, who is willing, confident and capable of pulling the RV to do just that. Take turns if it makes you both happy. Alternating drivers may provide a much-needed break for whoever has been behind the wheel and who can now relax and listen to The Eagles "Get Over It" or perhaps the Beatles "We Can Work it Out".

I think we may need to call upon the services of Dr. Phil to mediate here.

[TomHaycraft]

Originally Posted by Dutch & Di

Just curious.
Have you ever had a "sit down" chat with her about driving? Some women are hesitant because they feel their DH's will "be on them" all the time if they drive & it is hard to want to do something feeling like that.

Oh, we have! In fact, a bit earlier this morning, I referenced a thread about TV/TT Accidents and someone who posted about their wife's "alters" about things she sees up the street. She (we!) could relate.

Now seeing this thread has continued, I brought up this topic again. There is really no discussion, pulling the trailer is just not something she wants to do. I respect that. I love to drive (often think about quitting corporate job and go on the road, maybe get it out of my system!). Getting out of Texas from near Austin is almost a day of driving and with 2 drivers, we could extend our reach.

I'm happy she likes to camp, that is the bottom line.

[Barbell]

Does anyone know where I can send my wife to learn how to drive and back a trailer? I am old enough to know there is no way I am going to try to teach her.

[chuckster57]

I know there are lots of driving schools, but I can't say I've heard of one that caters to RV skills.

The best advise I can give you is find a BIG empty parking lot and let her make as many mistakes as she needs to to feel comfortable. Maybe break it up into several shorter sessions, and the stress on both will be greatly reduced.

My wife and I have very different driving styles, and after 20+ years together I have learned to be quiet in the passenger seat. She still won't pull the trailer and I have learned not to broach that subject anymore.

[monica4patience]

I have pulled pop-up trailers and U-hauls with no problem. Backing in is still a challenge. We all, including kids learned how to set up the camper. This allowed me to take trips with the kids if DH had to work, or even extend our time at the campground if he had to leave.

The greatest was the empowerment I felt when I took the camper to our church's women's Campout! We had that baby parked and up in no time. We had a few minor problems that a woman engineer was able to figure out. I was able to host 5 guests, provide cooking gear, shade, beds off the ground, and lots more.

Our current trailer is on a seasonal lot so no pulling a trailer. We have the winterization and spring opening done professionally. But I know what to do for opening and closing for the season or just short term.

My sister learned over the years to deal with pulling and setting up the trailer. She persisted despite an accident that destroyed their trailer (no injuries). Since her husband passed away she has been forced to be independent. Those early lessons empowered her to sell her condo, buy a motor home and travel from Michigan to Seattle to Phoenix to Texas to Florida and back to Michigan...on her own! She did a trial run to Wisconsin (6hr drive) with her daughter, sister, niece, and mother with no problem.

Ladies, we need to be able to handle life by ourselves if needed due to injury, sickness, or death. pulling the trailer, setting it up, pumping gas, balancing the checkbook, are all life skills we should have.

[JRTJH]

I have an aunt, now deceased who was an "old spinster" in that she never remarried after her husband was killed in WWII. At age 77, she bought a motorhome. After I taught her how to hook up the utilities, dump the tanks and add diesel fuel, she and one of her "old biddy" friends headed to Alaska. Those two "very senior citizens" made the trip from Louisiana to Alaska and back with few problems. The biggest "hurdle" for them was getting up the courage to "take the plunge." I can honestly say that once they returned, all they could talk about was "where are we going next". Until she was unable to drive and to live alone, that motorhome was a part of her life and her independence. After seeing the joy those trips brought to her, I'd encourage anyone, man or woman, to go for it. The only part of life that should be regretted is the part that you didn't have the courage to do.............

[notanlines]

John, Monica Mama, kudos to you all. Being married for 43 years to a former Marine, 25 years fire arms instructor at FCI Memphis, I can relate. We had a 38' Fountain Lightening for 13 years and I probably put the boat on the trailer 10 times or less. She knows that these kinds of things take two and she "totes the load!"

[GT2400BH]

Originally Posted by Barbell

Does anyone know where I can send my wife to learn how to drive and back a trailer? I am old enough to know there is no way I am going to try to teach her.

Don't focus about the backing part work on just going down the road. After some time in the parking lot. Start her on the interstate on ramp. Find one that's got a nice long run and some miles down the road have one that's got a nice pull off. A rest area can be one. Takes some planning.

[vmyoung61]

I am the driver in our family. Since I had many years of experience pulling gooseneck horse trailers, hubby is happy to leave it to me. So am I. He makes me nervous. He just retired this past Fall and on our first winter trip, I drove the rig from Arkansas to Florida and he followed in the car. No matter who is driving when we arrive at a site, I do the backing up. We will begin a trip West, as soon as we get the Big Sky back from Keystone, and the car stays behind. I guess we will have to get used to traveling together. LOL

[mamawildbear]

Originally Posted by Barbell

Does anyone know where I can send my wife to learn how to drive and back a trailer? I am old enough to know there is no way I am going to try to teach her.

It can be very stressful to have spouses teach each other things. Driving forward isn't the big deal (watch out for those curbs during turns) but backwards is a challenge. My dad tried to teach his wife how to ski and now they are divorced.

My neighbor taught me how to back into my garage with the popup. I had practically crossed the street and down the cul de sac to his house repeatedly trying to back up and jack knifing over and over till he took pity and came out and told me how to do it. Another time also early in our trailer ownership I had to go to the campground early and set up and my husband joined me later. I had a terrible time getting into the spot and some nearby campers helped me out.

Now with a big ole travel trailer behind me, I don't know how I could possibly back up on my own since I can't see. I did it on blind faith with my hubby giving directions as I backed into our pitch black spot at 1am over Spring Break.

Still, all good practice and I imagine we'll be teaching the kids once they start driving (well, maybe not the hauling the trailer down the road part but at least the slow moving backing up part).

[B-O-B'03]

My wife, of 35 years this May, took our popup one time, when I had to work, to a campground in Arkansas. I was able to come the next day and she had it parked and all setup.

For our new 22RBPR, we are pulling it with her 2013 F150 and I have no doubt she will be capable of pulling and maneuvering it.

I am a complete "drive hog" and usually do all of the driving when we go somewhere, but I have every confidence in her ability - should the need arise ;-)

-Brian

[Hamops]

My DW has been driving our 5vr since we bought our first one about 13 years ago. I've never had any issue with her driving. I think that it's great that she drives because I get to see the scenery for a change or have a little kip..

[bsmith0404]

My DW looked at me like I was smoking something when I told her she was pulling the utility trailer home one time. She was nervous, but did a great job. She loved driving her suburban and even my 2500, but when I bought the dually, she said she wasn't going to drive "that truck". Until one day I told her I was tired and needed her to drive (I wasn't really). Now she drives the dually all the time. I think she actually enjoys being one of the biggest vehicles on the road (short lady syndrome). I might get her to tow the car trailer someday, it's only 24', but I know she will NEVER tow the 5er. I'm okay with that, I enjoy driving and with as much towing as I do I often forget that I don't have a trailer behind me at times.