Getting Frustrated

[murphysranch]

Its been a dream of mine to have a trailer and get on the road periodically. Since we purchased our Hideout 24' in March, we've gone out once and did just fine. Now I am excited to have the oppty to caravan with my DD and her family to move them from Calif to Conway AR in late July.

I bought a US Atlas and have poured over the maps. There are so many things to see along the way - which I want to show my Grandchildren and my DH, since I've seen them all as a military brat moving across the country every 2-3 years. (He's a native Californian, and has only been to Wash DC. No sight seeing anywhere else, except when he lived as a surfer in HI - he hasn't even seen Yosemite!)

He's not sure he want to pull a trailer "all that way". "thats too far for a trailer" "do you realize how much gas that will take?" "We can't fit the grandchildren in the trailer". "We have to take the dogs?"

By Golly, if I have to use his 2012 Dodge Laramie 1500 and the '14 Hideout myself, then I'm gone gone gone. 24 years of marriage and lots of dreams about traveling, and he's popped up to be my reticent stumbling block.

How do I encourage his participation and up his enthusiasm about this trip? Thank you for your advice in advance.

[Kristi]

Not sure this will help, but maybe search for things that you are confident will interest him along the way? Hash out a budget with motel & restaurant costs vs. gas & camp fees, it will still probably cost more to take the trailer, but maybe not as much as he's thinking. As for the dogs, if you figure that one out let me know, that's where my DH draws the line (Mine is a 90lb lab, not a small dog)

[SAD]

Originally Posted by murphysranch

...How do I encourage his participation and up his enthusiasm about this trip? Thank you for your advice in advance.

Let him know the departure date and time.... Tell him welcome to come along; or to be a stick in the mud. His choice.

[jsmith948]

^^^^^^^^ this!!!

[Ken / Claudia]

For me, rving, boating, hunting, fishing, all take alot of work. I still look foreword to doing those things. My wife will not drive the truck or boat but helps with most other stuff. Just thinking here maybe he thinks it is to much work/trouble. Sounds like you are willing to help alot, let him know how much you will help make the travel as trouble free as possible, do you also drive, that alone would help. Good luck, I hope he wants to go.

[Western Traveler]

Maybe start with baby steps. Success comes when opportunity meets preparation and seems the foundation isn't there yet.
I have an insatiable wanderlust my bride now enjoys traveling with me but it wasn't always that way as she is a nester.
We started with easy trips on a short calendar and kept them trouble/anxiety free as best we could. Over time she realized what a joy it is. A 2600 mile camping trip last summer and a 1200+ mile one already this spring and she was already planning a trip for this summer as we were heading towards home.
It took time to get her there.
I love my grand kids and I have a bunch but grand kids, dogs, anxiety over money and worries about a long trip and what might happen alone the way may be a lot to ask of someone just starting out as he seems to be.

Oh and I have never missed a trip I wanted to go on because she didn't. She is very understanding that way.

[koko]

We took our camper on a 7-week, 9,000 mile trip last fall. We went through 27 states - definitely extreme users of gasoline (averaged 10-11 mpg). We spent $3,000 on gas, and the whole trip cost $8,500. We feel we broke even considering that without the trailer we would have had the expense of a decent hotel (we always stayed at nice campgrounds that averaged $28-$45), having to eat most meals at restaurants and still having to buy gas. We're CONVINCED there's nothing greater than a camping road trip. We rationalize that a 9-day cruise or European vacation would have cost the same, and look what we saw in 51 days! We feel there is no better way to see our beautiful country than by traveling with our trailer. Life's too short to put things off that we want to do. We have always cherished every moment that we can travel. We've been in every state except Alaska (usually with a trailer in tow), and Alaska is on our list. Our adult children are grateful for the experiences they've had while camping. By the way, we took our 65 lb. dog - she loved it. Your spouse will not regret the trip. He might even get hooked.

[Festus2]

You know your husband best and we have no way of knowing about his level of enthusiasm for this trip. From what you have told us, it seems that he really isn't all that interested in going. Personally, I wouldn't want to travel 4000 miles (round trip) and spend 2 weeks or so with someone who didn't want to come and is going to be a "stick in the mud" during the whole trip. It wouldn't be any fun for you or your husband.

If you do manage to convince him to go along and depending upon his level of enthusiasm at that point, you might consider the option of having him do 1/2 the trip - either there or back. He can fly, if he wishes, and meet you in Conway or drive there and fly back home.

I would think it would help if he were involved in the planning and preparation as he might then feel that he is more committed to going and has been given the opportunity for input. If you are doing all the planning and he is not involved, then he is less likely to want to go. How you accomplish this is probably best left to you since you've lived with him for 24 years.

If you will be in a 24 ft TT with your husband, your daughter and her husband, grandchildren (at least one or more??) plus 2 fairly large dogs, that in itself will be a challenge - even one way. The trip home would, I assume, involve fewer people.
Regardless of the cost and all of the other "non issues", I can see where your husband might think that a trip of this length, with that many people (and dogs) in a fairly small TT might not be such a great idea.

If you are up to the task of doing it by yourself and regardless of his decision will be "gone, gone, gone", and if such a trip is on your bucket list, then do what you have to do. Hopefully at the end of it all, you'll be able to spend another 24 years together.

[filmtex]

Originally Posted by murphysranch

How do I encourage his participation and up his enthusiasm about this trip? Thank you for your advice in advance.

Leave the dogs...

[Jim & DJ]

Leave the dogs . ? I couldn't. Ours is family too.










Navy
1948-1952

[ed cobos]

Wow! my wife and I along with our small dog, went to Seattle from Orange County California last summer towing our 24 ft. Trailer with f150,and we had a great time. 47 days on the road. Stayed at some great campgrounds, went sightseeing,played golf, went to casinos, fishing, and fine restaurants in Portland and Seattle. Total cost? $5400! That's gas, food and lodging. We compared this cost to 47 days of hotels along with flights, or driving there, ALL meals out, - for us it was a no brainer. We're on our way again this summer - Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and South Dakota.

[murphysranch]

Thank you all for your very insightful replies. I exposed my frustration to you all because I knew I was being myopic about this. I'm going to work on engaging him in this adventure/vacation rather than being indignant about it. Good feedback from good people.

[dandjh1958]

I know I won't be of much help because my answer would be jump in the truck- hook up the trailer and hit the road! My dear hubby is always invited to come along but his presence is not necessary- he's still working, I'm retired so I take off when I want and let him know where I am. Grandkids love to tag along and if all the family shows up, we basically turn the trailer into a "sleep only" space with beds, sleeps bags and pillows covering every inch of the floor space. (leaving a small trail to the bathroom!).

Life is good and too short not to enjoy each and every day. Offer a few breakfasts in bed and I bet he'll want camp more often!!

Good luck and happy camping!!

[RGene7001]

I wish I could go 10 years ago when it took $16 to fill up the car. Today gas prices suck, no question about it, and my Merc drinks nothing less than Premium, especially with almost 6000lb behind. However, everything should be taken into perspective. If you want to leave Florida for the summer (10 weeks) and go to the northeast, RV will save $$$ and give more quality time, not to mention better accommodations. The cost of gas is about the same as airfare for 3, baggage fees, parking at the airport and other expenses you can have during air travel. At the destination we never needed a rental car, ate at the restaurants only when we wanted it, definitely not 3 times every day; the best campground rang about $3800 for the entire season. Decent hotel or resort in good location would cost at least 3 times more. The trailer can pay for itself over a few years. Plus, we go locally 3-4 times a year.
In the past we stayed at the bungalow resort, with no AC, heat, wet mattresses. And it was more expensive.